Let's set the scene..
I walk into the store, the lights are bright and it seems like everyone is looking at me. I'm trying to be cool, don't want to draw too much attention to myself. For all I know they could have been starring because they knew what was about to take place, or at how fabulous my pig tails were and how my winter coat perfectly coordinated with the hat and glove set my grandmother had bought for me. Either way, I was about to pull of the biggest heist of my 9 year old career.
My grandmother made me go with her to target and of course I went because I figured she might show some pity on me and buy me a doll or something and also because she said so and at that age you don't really argue with adults. especially the ones who pack your lunch, You could end up with a lunchable with a snickers inside or a piece of fruit and a bible verse, I didn't want to take my chances.
As we walked through the store I noticed the universe pulling me towards something, something great.. the closer I got I felt the attraction and my heart started beating fast. It was upon me, beautiful and bright. Like nothing I had ever experienced before, it was the makeup aisle! This place had everything, at this age I had no idea what all the stuff was but I knew it must have been great because all the signs had smiling ladies on them and so many colors. I wandered down the aisle in amazement at all the things .. I stopped right in my tracks when I seen the lipstick shelf.
At this time I had no idea about brands, or no real perception of money so as far as I was concerned it was all cool and I could play with whatever I wanted. I just stood there, toying with all the colors and picking at the plastic around the packaging. It was great, everything was so pretty and I figured no wonder all the ladies on the pictures seemed so happy. Just as I was about to start peeling off the plastic on my 4th victim my grandma called my name and I jumped! She scared the shit out of me.. I had completely forgot she was even there with me. Hell, I had completely forgot where I was for a second.
So we headed to the check out, she bought her.. whatever the hell she was buying and we left, seemed like just another day. The next morning I was getting myself ready for school, like the young independent don't need no snot nose boy for nothing young lady that I was.. but I still needed help with my buttons. So had my grandmother Button my coat and I waited patiently for her to finish so my ensemble would be complete, I was quit fashionable for a 9 year old.
It was winter and clearly cold out so she reached into my pocket for my gloves... and then it happened, it was like the slow motion part in a corny action movie. She pulled out a hot pink Maybelline lipstick with half the plastic wrapping peeled off. I was stunned! I mean I was in total disbelief.. shooketh! And she must have been too because the look on her face was far from pleasant and I knew I would probably not be getting 50 cent for ice cream at lunch that day.
I tried to explain that I didn't know what happened, I didn't put that lipstick in my pocket! And then she hit me with the line.. you know the one, "so what happened, it just fell into your pocket!?" And that's when the light bulb went off! IT DID FALL INTO MY POCKET! I remember when she called my name in the store I jumped and I thought i heard something fall but when I looked for it I didn't see anything. So I hurried and ran off because I was instructed before I entered the building to not touch anything anyway!
Believe it or not the lipstick had fallen, and because my gloves were in a ball in my packet making them stick out a bit, it fell right into it! Right into the pocket of glory and right into my life! She was pissed, handed me the lipstick and started going on about stealing and how she should make me go back to the store. Obviously she wasn't trying to hear anything I had to say and I wasn't bothered by it. All I did was stare at my prize in amazement.
Eventually she walked away, irritated and probably thinking I would end up being a booster. I took off the cap and smelled my stolen goodness, I didn't dare try it on yet. But when I got home I knew exactly what I was going to do. I put the lipstick back into my pocket, placed my perfectly stitched hat on top of my head and walked away like a boss.
I had pulled it off.. I took Maybelline and Target for all they had and no one even knew. Not even me.